even more kid shit everywhere
it's terrible but it's also warming my heart???
As usual, the voiceover recording of this is nsfw and contains copious out loud and non-disguised “bad words.” Do with that what you fucking will! LOL I’m hilarious.
Since starting kindergarten, C has started drawing and coloring and “making signs” a LOT. It’s precious, and kinda cool especially since prior to this, his attention span with a box of crayons was about 87 seconds. Now, some days, he’ll be at the table or in his room coloring and creating things for literal hours. 2019 Sara could not even fathom this, and so it’s pretty special.
Anyway, a side effect of this is that now in addition to kid shit everywhere, we now have kid ART everywhere. And not because I’m like an obsessed mom, being precious about every single piece of paper my kid touches with a marker, but because my kid is all about hanging his art (and his “signs”) up all over the house. Literally.
Much like his kid shit everywhere, which I both loved and loathed, the papers he is taping to the walls are wonderful and terrible. 2017 Sara, who was precious about her newly painted walls in her newly built house and Pinterest boards for decor inspiration in every room, would never.
Now, I look upon it and think: a) scotch tape isn’t great for paint but the walls need to be repainted in most places anyway. B) his attention span is still pretty short, so it’s a matter of days or weeks or months probably until he won’t mind if I take things down or even do it himself. C) I kind of love it???? I draw some hard lines in some places with certain furniture or items, and he’s amenable to my requests, perhaps because I don’t have too many hard-nos when it comes to him displaying things he’s made. But for the most part, I see these little touches of him around the house and I feel warm fuzzies.
The fact that he feels free to put his creations up on display, that he feels free to ask me, to not capitulate on my first no (oven: hard no. front door: hard no. kitchen wall: soft no, could be convinced) and work with me to find a place that I will say yes to, that he is excited to show visitors and friends and little brother this sign he made and do you know what it says and if not he will absolutely read it to you.
The fact that a lot of these things he makes are “for Mama” (currently spelled “Momo,” because English is dumb and it makes no sense that Mom is not the shortened version of Mama but is the shortened version of Momma which is pronounced the same as Mama but not spelled the same and how come one needs double M’s and one doesn’t) or “for Daddy” (currently spelled “Dade” - we worked through this one recently, I’m sort of sad to see it go), or “for James” and all signed “fum Charlie” somewhere. The fact that he uses the purple crayon for my hair every time. The fact that he makes us little love notes and get-better-soon cards. The fact that he made James a “picture book” that contained the lyrics to both of their favorite song from Moana, “We Know the Way” aka “away away” and I have to share a pic of it because it slays me.
There’s lots of discussion and perhaps disagreement about kids’ rooms and what they’re allowed to do in there, decorating and activities and general creative expression. I haven’t gone down any rabbit holes on the internet about this but I do feel us getting closer and closer to him having an opinion, requesting things or doing things on his own without asking first because he feels autonomy and ownership of his space.
And then it’ll be up to me to accept it, challenge it, and draw the line somewhere. Where is the line? I don’t know. Is it like porn according to the supreme court? I can’t describe the line but I’ll know it when I see it? I suspect yes.
But also? Walls can be painted and repainted, holes repaired, furniture re-arranged. Minds changed. At this juncture, when he still lets me hang whatever I want in his space, and is generally agreeable if I push back on placement of something as long as I have a logical-enough-to-him reason, current Sara is hoping future Sara, mother to a 12-year-old with intense feelings, will not balk at a goth phase, or even something more extreme / permanent like a request to paint a mural on his wall. Hard no at like, white supremacy propaganda and that Brooke Burke covered in gold poster* that 2 out of 3 hetero boys had in their dorm rooms in 2006 or whatever the version of that will be in roughly 10 years (sob). Same for if he prefers dudes or perhaps likes it all. No tits or schlongs on my walls, please.
When I started writing about my sweet almost-6-year-old’s art, I definitely would not have guessed the essay would include the words “tits” and “schlong” but here we are.
Anywho, I continue to collect photos of all the kid shit everywhere all over the house, art, architectural installations on my desk and vanity, that creepy snake he got from lort-knows-where but enjoys leaving in random places. And it continues to delight me more than it annoys me, and that fact also delights me. Someone told me when C was a toddler than I seemed like a “chill mom,” and as much as I did not identify with that, and perhaps still don’t, I DO strive to be chill about select things. It feels important to not say no all the time, especially to things that, when you really think hard about them, don’t really matter.
Early on with C, I followed Busy Toddler and loved all her advice + her parenting book. She was and still does always talk about going for “the easy yes.” For me, I think kid shit everywhere and scotch tape on [certain] walls became an easy yes. If the paint or drywall DOES rip? It’s repairable. If someone DOES come over and there are toys all over the place? I’m not sorry, because we live here and play is living.
I am gathering photos from friends and the internet to create a kid-shit-everywhere-inspired coffee table book. Think luxury coffee table book but make it little kid friendly.
I would love to include your kid shit! Send me photos here in the subscriber chat, or email them to me snarkysara@substack.com! I’ll post some here in installments and be in touch about book making progress, permissions, etc.
Please: no kid faces, no playrooms, no personal identifying information in the photo (mail accidentally in the frame, your ssn card on the floor, whatever).
Thanks for being here, y’all. As I journey through the list of things I’ve “always wanted to do,” writing stays high on the list, and you being here and coming back keeps me going. Cheers to you!
Related: I’d love a friendly forward! Send this to other friends with messy homes, make us all feel a little less alone and like we’re alone in the “house a disaster” club because we aren’t. We LIVE here!
k! Love you! Byeeeeeee!
