friday cool dumb shit v2
what else can I say except it's a compilation of some cool and/or dumb shit? started this last week and I like an excuse to be like "hey look at this thing" so here we are again.
My thousands of fans and subscribers went absolutely batshit over last week’s friday experiment on cool dumb shit! It was basically Kim Kardashian headquarters over here, breaking the internet with such innovative lists of links! So because the masses demand, I’m back again to serve the people what you want: more cool dumb shit!
As before, I do want to hear how we’re feeling about this. And by “we” I absolutely mean just you. YOU let me know - leave a comment, send an email. You can hit reply if you’re reading this in your inbox, or email snarkysara@substack.com if not. I DO want to hear from you because I’d hate for this to turn into just dumb shit instead of sometimes also cool shit along with dumb shit.
Perhaps also we should make a drinking game for every time I say shit? Is that fun or nah?
listicle: a word I hate more than moist
honestly I have no feelings about moist. People don’t like it, I don’t really care. It doesn’t do anything to my insides to hear it spoken or see it written. There’s a sex joke in there somewhere - moist, do anything to my insides, get it? But we’re reaching now (reaching around, perhaps?) (too much?) (not enough?).
LET’S GET TO IT.
a note about affiliate links because I think we all hate now when it’s an affiliate link or partnership but we didn’t know about it: none of these are affiliate links. when/if the day comes that i am sharing affiliate links I will mark them as such and make sure to be super duper clear about what’s affiliate, what’s partnership, what’s a bribe, what’s an ad. k? k.
Last week I wrote about dominating the one-kid-parent situation, and there was lots of talk of going outside. This has been my favorite way to parent since later in the pandemic when C was walking reliably and not eating random things on the ground. Once I could trust him to not bust his ass 87 times per hour and also not aggressively shove pinecones into his mouth, my solution to literally every parenting dilemma has been: GO OUTSIDE. But I didn’t invent this or come up with it myself. 1000 hours outside is really inspiring especially since the mom who runs it has 5 kids, who she homeschools, in Michigan. Which, if you’re keeping score, is a) way more kids than me, b) so much more effort and stress than me (not that it’s a race but still noteworthy), and c) WAY way way colder than where I live in North Carolina. So like, if Ginny can take her 5 children outdoors literally all day every day, then surely I CAN be bothered to find a legitimate jacket for my child and myself and get the hell outside. I think I have an essay inside me about this topic, because it truly changed my parenting life especially during pandemic when we were all losing our minds. V cool website and online shop too!
This one is cheating because it’s not a link but y’all please listen: I bought a CUTE DRESS from - you are not going to believe this - WALGREENS. THE PHARMACY. The dress is cute as shit and it fits in a completely mediocre yet also perfect way - shirred bodice makes for size flexibility I guess. So I don’t know what I’m saying here since there is no link but as the kids say, don’t sleep on Walgreens fashion?? Idk.
I haven’t pontificated about pelvic floor health yet (JUST WAIT, IT’S COMING) but if you are a person with a pelvic floor, which - spoiler alert - is everyone including men, but I guess I am mostly speaking to people with uteruses and vaginas and bladders that are a neighbor to both of these, ahem, please allow me to share my favorite and the most easy of all pelvic floor PT exercises: get one of these bands, put your legs in it, pull it up to right above your knees, sit at your desk to do your boring day job shit, do some outward presses aka seated leg abductions, alternate with inward presses aka adductions. Put a book or fist between your knees to give yourself something to squeeze. ****A thousand asterisks I am not a doctor or PT but I have been doing these for over a year and it has and continues to help the general function of my pelvic floor. And just to be super clear: this means I do not, ever, pee myself!
Very related: this newsletter about pelvic floor health made me cackle and also taught me things! Evil Witches is also one of my favorite substack subscriptions.
When I was 27ish, I went crazy (sarcasm) and had my hair colored purple. I got highlights and then a purple semi-permanent wash that faded over time that I was so in love with. Colored hair became a thing that made me so happy that my hair hasn’t been my natural color 100% since then (with a brief sad stint for my wedding which I can’t get into rn). BUT SARA HOW DO YOU DO IT, literally everyone asks me so I will tell you: first thing, find a colorist you love and pay her an actual bucket full of cash once or twice a year, and then use Overtone color conditioners to maintain. It is the best way I’ve found to do both temporary and long-lasting (not permanent because I think that word means something chemical?) color and also not necessarily commit to one color for an entire year, which my indecisive nature cannot handle! I’ve used red, purple, blue, and even brown. The smell is lovely, my hair is never softer than after an Overtone condition, and the price is not insane. Plus, vegan! Plus, an actual inclusive company! Plus, fun!
Gonna stop here because for some reason I wrote an entire SAT essay on each of these links??? It was my wedding anniversary this week (8 years, both an eternity and a blip) and I am hopefully napping my ASS off in a child-free hotel room at this very moment!! Or at least on my way to this bliss. Man-Piece insisted on coming with me so I also have ear plugs because why do literally all men snore. Congratulations to me, congratulations to us for making it through another week, congratulations to you if you too found an adorable dress at a drug store. See you Tuesday for another snarky memoir!
